Why-why won’t you allow me to depart?
Reference of Audio: This Happiness — Of Monster and Men
All my efforts and attempts, wasted in vain
The seeds once planted have grown
Their roots now deep and steady
Reaching; grasping onto the earth.
But as long as tears flow like crystal streams,
The heart remains barren
Like a wasteland until the end,
With only dust and ashes left behind.
I tried to push as if I was pulling as hard as I could
Perhaps too forcefully, with no certainty
It’s getting harder to breathe
The branches are slowly choking me.
Malnourished, the flow disrupted,
Unable to stand tall in strength,
The buds that once bore fruit now rotten to the core,
Gravity pulls with all its might on emptiness.
To pursue is futile,
No matter how often I’ve tried,
No matter how much shade the leaves provide,
Futility reigns due to lack of desire.
All I yearn for is to drift away,
To soar across the equator,
To be elsewhere, in another time,
Over a different continent.
Yet here I am, grounded,
Slowly deteriorating and aging.
My mind speaks to these intertwined roots,
Bound and twisted at every turn,
“Why- why won’t you allow me to depart?”
The roots stare silently,
And again in vain,
I am left without an answer.
20:27–17th of April 2024
